Archiv für März 2014

know what you‘re doing

I know

I know it is me
who talks about
how male* attention
is overrated
(and it’s also me
not getting over it

if you find
an ally you trust
getting hold of him
might be worth
some effort

to the men* in my life:
having a place in my life
demands from you
to be an ally
I can trust

if you happen
to (still) have that place
it doesn‘t release you from that
but it means
you‘re doing something right
and you‘d better make sure
to know what it is
you‘re doing right


Cyborgs we are

are kisses
on the forehead
of your screen


„The Pressure I Feel is the Oppression I Resist“ – Stories About Liberation & Orientation Towards Male* Attention

8th of March, in my regular pub. I am ecstatically playing table soccer (which I rarely do) with a bunch of women* (who are rarely seen here). We just arrived from the Women*Lesbian*Trans*demonstration for Women*sFightDay. We‘ve been on the streets for more than one hour, raising our voices, claiming public space and attention. Some posters ‚advertised‘ the day with the slogan ‚Be careful with each other, so we can be dangerous together‘ and that was most definitely the demonstration’s spirit. Most of us came here afterwards, exhilarated by this powerful act. I was delighted, I felt great, like nothing could ever stop me from standing up and achieve what I aim for, as long as I know these people by my side.

Few by few guys dropped into this kind of liberated female*lesbian*trans*universe, first being only slightly noticed by myself, since I was involved in way more interesting discussions on my flt* table at the time. Yet hour by hour the endorphins of resistance went down and I found myself getting dragged back into the regular habits, hanging out with the same people I usually do, thus the (not) shared experience of the evening stepping back in mind.
Having the (now vanishing) contrary experience of flt* solidarity and cooperation so very present, I could witness the urge for male* attention flowing back into me. A few hours after my furious, proud march through the streets I realised: The patriarchy I‘m fighting is in my head. (mehr…)

„Love is not a job interview“ – Stories about (not) getting involved with someone

When I was about 14 or 15 I said: „When I get a boyfriend and tell my best friend about him, I do not want her to say: Oh! I‘ve got the same edition!“. I don‘t know if I said that to my friend or to myself, but I remember the sentence very well.

I‘ve been in love with quite different guys and the only things they had in common probably were:
- that they got my sense of humour and made me laugh,
- that I admired some of their interests, was fascinated by their behaviour,
- and most of all: that I didn‘t count them to be normal.
Freaks, artists, punks, philosophers, nerds, geeks, … tell me you find someone to be weird and you‘ll get me interested. Nowadays I‘d say I early did tend to like:
- guys who break with masculinity in some respects,
- who were not interested in the usual understanding of success,
- but who were into something.
That might be the combination to get me interested … though it changed through the years, of course, and through my involvement with feminism especially.

As different as the people I‘ve been in love with were the ways of being in love I‘ve experienced – or similar feelings that can‘t be clearly distinguished from that. (mehr…)