The Good News – Thoughts on Beauty, Power & Attractiveness III

The concept of attractiveness is based on interaction, which means it only works as far as people respond to the established patterns. By not responding, repeating and encouraging to perform (gender biased) bloke-behaviour, it can be destabilised right where it happens.

The concept of beauty is build on aesthetics that are repeated over and other again. Aesthetics can be changed by not repeating them, by not following them, by not sanctioning deviance, by celebrating other pictures.

Change viewing patterns, change patterns of behaviour.
Support and celebrate yourselves and each other and don‘t give a shit for people who try to uphold these oppressions. You don‘t need to listen to them.

Take down the pictures of dead idols on your walls, substitute them with photographs of proud women*, queer women*, women* of color, women* that take up space, persons that inspire by who they are and what they fight for. Draw your own pictures of yourself, of beloved ones, of what you miss and want to see.

Enjoy the things you like to do, value your talents, try a lot of things to find them, enjoy failing, do things you are not supposed to and don‘t let them pressure you to do something just because you think you have to. Sleep, eat, wear, move, talk, dance in the way most comfortable to you. Do what is fun, what you are passionate about, makes you proud, is important to you, what makes your body feel good and your mind excited. Relax.

Find places, subcultures, scenes, people, platforms, websites, books, (maga)zines, music, pictures, … where other behaviour is practiced, where other ideas are shared, where people try to deal in other ways with each other, where positive experiences and ways of resistance are offered, where you can get inspirations.

Ask questions. For example question your straightness, if you haven‘t yet. Or what kind of relationships you want. Ask yourself in what way you actually feel male*_female*_different*. Ask yourself which people you like and what you like about them. (Maybe they‘d like to know, too.) Ask yourself what you like about yourself; be gentle. You can ask the ones you trust, too. They will know.

Surround yourself with people that like you, appreciate you, love you, laugh with you, fight with you, cuddle with you, talk with you, listen to you, understand you, support you, celebrate with you, hold you, respect you, believe in you.
Value all kinds of relationships and dare to admire all kinds of people. The casual ‚good morning‘ in the kitchen with sloppy clothes; waving to the girl* with the undercut, tattoos and leather jacket; the smell of the guy* with the warmest hugs; listening to the (girl*?boy*?)person with the clear voice and black hair; talking to the one with the long skirt, red lips and long beard; cuddling and holding the softest hands; discussing and working on the pressing issues for hours; a walk with the girl with the huge smiling eyes; laugh with the girl* in casual black and the giggling guy*; writing love letters to persons whose smile and hug once a year is enough to make you feel at home; admiring the girl* in jogging pants with the best punchlines and the guys* in glitter.
Today you find me in jeans and sweater and I don‘t brush my hair and tomorrow I‘ll be out in skirt and all dressed up again, but I‘ll still be the same, I‘ll pun as hell and write too much and talk back and eat vegetables and chocolate, walk slowly and dance wildly and collecting hugs of my beloved manys.

What a beautiful thought this is,
what powerful ideas I got in touch with,
what attractive prospects are waiting for me …